That has special meaning for me but I’m not telling. He might not appreciate me telling that story. Lol!
Well here I am again and I can’t believe that it is two years since I have come back. I expect it’s because I ramble on Facebook. I do have a blog on there but it is mainly talking to myself and nobody else. It’s called Another lifetime for Celia or something like that. The other account on there is just for chatting with people. I don’t see many humans in real life so it is nice to have an online life.
It is a strange coincidence that it is two years since I have been here. Just passed Saint Patrick’s Day again. I didn’t see a soul. That seems to be the same as two years ago, I hadn’t realised. Again my family have their own lives to lead and do their own thing and I am not part of that very often. I am often very alone.
I have read through my previous blogs and notice my comments on Saint Patrick’s Day and why I didn’t want to call it paddies day. Well karma got the man in a big way. He was unwell and in hospital for very many months. I think we had one phone conversation and he said that his ex wife visited him twice and his beloveds children only once. I found that absolutely incredible, though I don’t know why I should as I haven’t seen my one and only brother since before my broken neck but that’s another story. Patrick told me that he had to stay in hospital and have one lung removed and it sounds like there were a lot of problems. He was of a sleeve very depressed and alone and living in a flat. Carmel kicked him out. A huge change from the beautiful house on the Howth Road. He lost his children. He absolutely loved his children. He did everything for them but because of his growth and on to kind manner it came across as bullying as always. He got left with no family and living in a flat alone. He didn’t drink any more and you didn’t go out any more. In the end there was nothing else for him to do and now he is dead. He killed him self. It still makes me think of him on Saint Patrick’s Day and I still don’t like calling it paddies day.
Easter is only around the corner and people will be off on their holidays and doing different things. It seems the weather is going to be typically Irish and changing from being quite pleasant to its usual horrible self. All the daffodils are up they look very pretty. I even bought two bunches for Cancer charity. That’s ideal day is for cancer research and on principle I hated to buy them because my beloveds Mum died of cancer and all their research seems to have got nowhere. I heard on the radio the other day that there are 16 types of cancer. Everyone has been affected in one way or another by it and it is in every family in Ireland. It is a curse, and evil curse.
Yes Easter again two years later. I can’t remember what I was doing last year. I expect I could look it up in my diary but who cares. I do remember getting a chocolate bunny from Lawrence. I won’t be getting one this year as he won’t be over until a couple of days after Easter so I guess it will be Easter for one.
There is a new person in my life though so it might be Easter for two. Her name is Bella. I think she was one about last August. I got her by mistake. I was looking at a picture of her on Facebook, on a site that is not supposed to sell pets and they are barred from there now.
I can hardly imagine life without her now. Dearest Lawrence hates her because she is going to stop all the great things we are going to do. We haven’t seen to have achieved very many of them yet though.
Great news he retired. He told me he would retire when he was 50, he told me he would retire when he was 55, he told me he would retire when they gave him redundancy. He achieved that at 60.
Great news, I will be retired two years in August. Exactly the same day as he retired. Also unfortunately my wedding anniversary. How ironic.
The 31 Aug seems to be my life changing date.
Other big news, on the leap year a couple of weeks ago Lawrence and I agreed to get married. See all that life changing news. He asked me when and I said Christmas. He said this Christmas? And I said no next Christmas 2017.
We had more, I should say will have two weddings this year already. His two children. Firstly his son James and Lindsey. The wedding was to be in June but now suddenly the birth of their first daughter is in June. Another life changing event, Lawrence will be a Grandpa.
That is great news for James and Lindsey, I am very happy for them. They have a beautiful home, both have good jobs and I pray that the child will be beautiful and healthy. I should put healthy first of course, that is the most important thing.
I smiled to myself as they think they have it all planned out. I don’t mean that in a non-kind way but they haven’t the faintest idea what will hit them. If anybody knew what a first baby is like I’m not sure the population would continue to rise. After saying you are never having another one after the first one, after the second one it gets easier. Though of course these days hardly anyone has to put up with the pain and that is a good thing because it is so mind-boggling that it is lucky that nature helps you forget the horror of it. You don’t forget it but you love your child so much that it makes up for it. Babies don’t fit. They just don’t fit. It is like trying to pass a football and they don’t fit.
Lindsey will have her mother to help her with the baby and that is a Blessed miracle. I am so lucky I had my mum to help as at 18, or two small boys by 19 I would never have coped. She was totally wonderful with them. She was totally wonderful with all of them all five of them. That’s another long story for another day or night perhaps.
I started this blog by mistake at 4 AM and now it is nearly 5. I know there are spelling errors but I am too tired to check now.
At Jameses and Lindsey’s wedding I met Lawrence’s ex wife for the first time. I know him 16 years next month so we have been together long time. I went and introduce myself to Ann. That was pretty scary and yes she had heard of me. Another long story for another night- perhaps.
Lawrence’s daughter Anna and Chris are getting married in July and that will be a big event for Lawrence as she is very special in his life. I know he will get through it okay but he will be feeling quite weird about the whole thing and glad when it is over I suspect. Still both his children will be married and have beautiful homes and a good life so they have everything set out for them in a good way and it’s all up to them then.
Okay I should go to sleep shortly if possible, I might have to read for a little while first as of course my brain is awake now as it usually is at night and during the day I am tired. I am like a baby, back to front. Want to sleep in the day and be awake at night. I wish it wasn’t that way and I do quite well when Lawrence is here. I can hear him breathing and it is comforting. I will see him shortly but he has a big project on at the moment and it is taking up his time.
Yes life has changed greatly since my last blog I notice.
All my medical issues are still there and increasing all the time but I am just getting on with them. The cause of them and the legal carry on finally wore me down after three years of battle. Suffering from post traumatic stress and trying to deal with two sets of government solicitors and barristers and legal teams was just too much and they can go and fuck themselves. Karma will get them too.
It was like a huge weight lifted from my shoulders when I realised I just couldn’t win. Of course it is in the back of my mind that I am worth nothing as usual, the same as my divorce. I’m hoping life makes up for it somehow. It is a joy to be retired but I have never been so busy in my life. Though things get done very slowly and Lawrence has already found this out. He is only retired a wet weekend and has discovered that by trying to get things done it is just taking longer and longer as you find more and more stuff that needs doing. It is kind of amusing.
I am glad that he is getting to see his dad. He was always away or busy and lives in a different country and never had any time for anything really but now he is spending time with his dad. His dad will be 89 on 1 June.
Okay Celia go asleep.